Amethyst Chronicles

These past few days, I've been stable. Hindi naman ako masyadong nalulungkot. I'm standing along the line between happiness and sadness. It's more like my emotion's neutral. Minsan sumasaya ako dahil sa binabasa ko. I recently figured out that I have a thing for stories having a genre between or a mix of: Fantasy, Paranormal, Horror, Action, and a sprinkle of Romance. Sometimes I wish that I have my own private writer or author, so somehow he/she could write any story that I would like to read. Love, even. There's 10 things I mainly want to do in my lifetime. One,  sleep. Two, eat. Three, read. Four, spend my life on the road, travelling to anywhere, everywhere . Five, drink hot choco. Six, swim in spectacular beaches. Seven, read. Eight,  write stories. Nine, collect millions and millions of books that I'd love to read. And the best being the last, or vice versa, ten, to read amazing stories that will catch me off-guard. Oh, I already said that tons of times di

Masakit magmahal. It fvcking hurts like hell.

I think I just got my first heartbreak. Tuloy-tuloy lang ang pagsakit ng puso ko habang nanonood ako ng livestream ng concert ng BTS. I'm suddenly regretting kung bakit hindi ko sila agad nakilala in the first place. Shit happens nga naman kasi. Masakit sa pusong magmahal ng taong kailanman hindi magiging iyo. At alam mo na kailanmang hindi siya mapapasa'yo at kahit hindi mo tanggap, wala ka na lang magawa kundi magmahal. Kahit hindi mo tanggap. Kesa naman tanggapin mo 'yung katotohanan at tumigil ka sa pagmamahal kahit na alam mo sa sarili mong mahal mo pa rin siya? Diba mas masakit 'yun?  Umiiyak ako habang hinihintay kanina na mag-load 'yung livestream ng concert kaso punyeta ang tagal magplay. Ang mas masakit pa, umiiyak ako pero walang lumalabas na luha. I'm crying internally.  Ang sakit nga dahil pinupukpok ko pa 'yung dibdib ko dahil baka sakaling lumabas 'yung mga lintek na luha kaso kahit anong gawin ko ayaw talaga, eh. Imagine my happine

I made this blog for a reason. This blog will be the place where I release all my emotions, thoughts, and sorrows. I will stay anonymous as long as I can. This will be my online home, journal, diary, and bestfriend because I will pour all my emotions here. I will never hesitate to type what I want to post. And I will not even care about people's reactions because I'm too tired to even care. I hope that this blog would not be read by everyone but me. I want to keep my emotions all to myself. I just need to let it all out by posting. It may be weird but I find comfort on doing it. Every post, I know that there is a probability that someone is reading what I am writing. And it makes me relieved somehow because it gives me a hint of hope that if that someone  reads the racing thoughts inside my head, they would actually care. I'm happy even if that someone will openly tell me that he/she cares for me or not. It's just that it feels good knowing that someone cares for you. E